Englishman smuggles dead relative onto tour bus By J.A. Getzlaff
His fellow passengers are unaware the corpse is a corpse. (05/18/00)

Paris cash machines run dry By J.A. Getzlaff
A strike by armored truck guards means a shortage of francs for the French. (05/17/00)

Wanted: Canada's Loch Ness monster By J.A. Getzlaff
British Columbia's mysterious "Ogopogo" has a price on its slippery head. (05/16/00)

Iran backs its camels with cash By J.A. Getzlaff
The government now offers insurance for the valuable beasts. (05/15/00)

Oslo man drives onto runway By J.A. Getzlaff
A speeding plane misses his car by 10 feet. (05/12/00)

India opens first superhighway By J.A. Getzlaff
The six-lane freeway runs from Bombay to Pune. (05/11/00)

Oaxaca grills world's largest tortilla By J.A. Getzlaff
The Mexican bread spans 14-plus feet in honor of the city's 468th birthday. (05/10/00)

Japanese court throws book at foot cult By J.A. Getzlaff
The cult tells followers they'll die if their feet aren't inspected. (05/09/00)

Actor playing Judas accidentally hangs himself By J.A. Getzlaff
Italian man dies onstage during an Easter reenactment. (05/08/00)

Photographer gets spooked by his own subjects By J.A. Getzlaff
Lost in a Florida swamp, he climbs a tree to avoid alligators. (05/05/00)

Italian protesters vote in undies By J.A. Getzlaff
Upset about noise pollution at the nearby airport, voters in Agrate Conturbia make a scene in their skivvies. (05/04/00)

Ryans fly free By J.A. Getzlaff
Virgin Express and Ryanair are giving free flights to people named Ryan. (05/03/00)

L.A. to serve toilet water By J.A. Getzlaff
Endorsed by environmentalists, the proposed solution to Southern California's chronic water shortage has some residents feeling queasy. (05/02/00)

Save your soul! By J.A. Getzlaff
For just a few bucks, an Italian housewife will do your praying for you. (05/01/00)

Russian bullfighter blunders to victory By J.A. Getzlaff
He gracelessly kills an angry toro -- making the Spanish crowd even angrier. (04/28/00)

French village takes on Coca-Cola By J.A. Getzlaff
The mayor of Sainte-Marie is taxing the bejesus out of Coke -- but he swears it's not revenge. (04/27/00)

Giant pandas to be given Viagra By J.A. Getzlaff
Wildlife officials hope it will increase the endangered species' population. (04/25/2000)

Stupid tourist tricks By J.A. Getzlaff
Visitors just seem to lose their reason in Australia. (04/25/00)

"Work harder in bed" By J.A. Getzlaff
Zambian man ordered to copulate with his wife. (04/24/00)

Garden gnomes of the world, unite! By J.A. Getzlaff
French group fights to liberate ceramic statues. (04/21/00)

Rollerblading bobbies! By J.A. Getzlaff
London's Regent's Park to be patrolled by "rollercops." (04/20/00)

Ostrich attacks Norwegian farmer By J.A. Getzlaff
Feathered giant mistakes breeder for rival bird. (04/19/00)

A coffin rides the bus By J.A. Getzlaff
Argentine family takes public transport to cemetery. (04/18/00)

Sealand -- too good to be true By J.A. Getzlaff
A Spaniard is arrested for selling passports to a make-believe principality. (04/17/00)

U.S. stoners buy Canadian By J.A. Getzlaff
Manitoban pot reaches a new high. (04/14/00)

Cyprus' Greek Orthodox Church speaks out against 666 By J.A. Getzlaff
Citizen I.D. cards carried the "number of the beast." (04/13/00)

Saudi Arabia welcomes travelers -- sort of By J.A. Getzlaff
The conservative Muslim kingdom says it will issue tourist visas for the first time. (04/12/00)

Japanese firm developing tool to track stray grannies By J.A. Getzlaff
If all goes as planned at Mitsui & Co., satellites and cellular technology will soon be locating wandering seniors. (04/11/00)

Lip hair OK in Disneyland By J.A. Getzlaff
In a radical gesture of modernity, the Happiest Place on Earth has lifted the ban on mustached employees. (04/10/00)

Belfast businesses sell terrorism to tourists By J.A. Getzlaff
A private bus tour and a T-shirt shop have found a way to squeeze profit from violence. (04/07/00)

Hired sniffers patrol Marseille for odor By J.A. Getzlaff
Police say the French port city will stink no more. (04/06/00)

S‹o Paulo commuter sets train aflame By J.A. Getzlaff
Rush hour jam proves too much for one rider. (04/05/00)

Mexican congress debates Daylight Savings Time By J.A. Getzlaff
One senator has complained that "Summer Timetable" gets in the way of the morning quickie. (04/04/00)

Nipple-ring blues By J.A. Getzlaff
A smuggler's body piercing set off airport metal detectors recently in Turkey. (04/03/00)

Quelle surprise! By J.A. Getzlaff
A customs dog recently sniffed out an impressive -- but illegal -- trouser snake in Paris. (03/31/00)

Patted down at the opera By J.A. Getzlaff
Rio de Janeiro may pass an aggressive metal detector law. (03/30/00)

He's alive! By J.A. Getzlaff
Ghana man attends his own funeral in elaborate scheme to have hospital bills paid. (03/29/00)

Quebec hair salon doubled as a brothel By J.A. Getzlaff
Customers got more than haircuts, police say. (03/28/00)

Kenyan women storm police station and demand sex By J.A. Getzlaff
"Our men have turned to vegetables," they say. (03/27/00)

Russian trainer sells "mercenary" dolphins to Iran By J.A. Getzlaff
The marine mammals were trained to kill. (03/24/00)

For sale: Denmark's Tivoli Gardens By J.A. Getzlaff
Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson are potential buyers. (03/23/00)

Swedish politician moonlights as a porn star By J.A. Getzlaff
The Leftist Party may oust him for his controversial extracurricular activities. (03/22/00)

Beijing forbids sex and the West By J.A. Getzlaff
Government bans steamy ads and Western magazines. (03/21/00)

Colombian woman caught with cocaine in her unmentionables By J.A. Getzlaff
Smuggler's bra-stuffing scheme will cost her big. (03/20/00)

Poland moves to ban skin flicks and magazines By J.A. Getzlaff
Parliament approves the conservative bill. (03/17/00)

Dead fish stink up Rio's Carnival By J.A. Getzlaff
Polluted harbor has partyers holding their noses. (03/16/00)

Thailand bans caffeine By J.A. Getzlaff
No more coffee or tea in the country's northern provinces, in an attempt to curb methamphetamine manufacturers. (03/15/00)

New York will shock pigeons By J.A. Getzlaff
The dirty birds are to receive non-lethal electric treatment. (03/14/00)

Germany OKs drug-injection rooms By J.A. Getzlaff
Heroin users can shoot up off the streets, unless the U.N. has its way. (03/13/00)

Belarus cracks down on bottle traders By J.A. Getzlaff
Customs officials stop empty bottles from crossing borders. (03/10/00)

Aussie prostitutes limber up for 2000 Olympics By J.A. Getzlaff
They're ready to entertain Down Under. (03/09/00)

Monkeys stone Kenyan to death By J.A. Getzlaff
The drought made them do it. (03/08/00)

Hong Kong pop star goes berserk on airplane By J.A. Getzlaff
Flight is forced to detour in Anchorage. (03/07/00)

Germans too small for condoms? By J.A. Getzlaff
Ja, says Munich's Focus magazine. Compared to the rest of Europe, one size does not fit all. (03/06/00)

Indonesian "sorcerer" commanded women into bed By J.A. Getzlaff
Police have the 36-year-old fraud in custody for his own protection. (03/03/00)

Fowl play in an English village By J.A. Getzlaff
Townspeople are stumped by a chicken-style whodunit. (03/02/00)

Swedish telecommunications company goofs By J.A. Getzlaff
Mock hijacking of bus goes haywire. (03/01/00)

Vienna store seeks nude customers By J.A. Getzlaff
This enterprising clothing outlet offers new duds to the brave and bare. (02/29/00)

Digging up Genghis Khan By J.A. Getzlaff
Chicago lawyer heads quest for the Mongolian warlord. (02/28/00)

Iraq and the U.N. duke it out over pencils By J.A. Getzlaff
Officials decide the recently donated writing implements don't violate sanctions. (02/25/00)

L'amour brings spelunker out of cave By J.A. Getzlaff
Valentine's Day lures him from the darkness. (02/24/00)

Prostitution wreaks havoc in Bangladesh park By J.A. Getzlaff
Local newspaper frowns on "floating prostitutes." (02/23/00)

The Great Firewall of China By J.A. Getzlaff
China installs speed bumps on the information superhighway. (02/22/00)

What a croc! By J.A. Getzlaff
Large lizard lunges at Aussie child (02/18/00)

Daredevil jumps from Pisa's Leaning Tower By J.A. Getzlaff
Italian police are still looking for the suspect. (02/17/00)

Platform shoes get the boot in Osaka By J.A. Getzlaff
Police say the precipitous platforms are dangerous. (02/16/00)

Hong Kong's rent-a-hawker syndicate busted By J.A. Getzlaff
Illegal street vendors and corrupt officials were in cahoots. (02/15/00)

Surrealist sculpture stolen in Mexico City By J.A. Getzlaff
Thieves dump it days later. (02/14/00)

Rio Carnival's 398-pound king put on a diet By J.A. Getzlaff
His doctor pleads with "King Momo" to lose weight. (02/11/00)

Czech man posts subterranean Valentine By J.A. Getzlaff
A mystery Valentine kept riders of Prague's subway guessing last month when an anonymous man took out ad space in 105 subway cars in hopes of recovering his lost love. (02/10/00)

Titanic II averted By J.A. Getzlaff
A cruise ship is freed from the Antarctic ice. (02/09/00)

Thief gets caught in his own tracks By J.A. Getzlaff
Virginian robbed while shoveling snow. (02/08/00)

Taipei mayor surprised by floating corpse By J.A. Getzlaff
A river clean-up yields more than garbage. (02/07/00)

Drunken businesswoman accused of slugging flight attendant By J.A. Getzlaff
Trial ongoing in England. (02/04/00)

Empire State Building elevator plunges 400 feet By J.A. Getzlaff
Two office workers survive the drop. (02/03/00)

Chilean actress resides in glass house for all to see By J.A. Getzlaff
Crowds line up to watch Santiago woman live. (02/02/00)

Leave the Yeti alone! By J.A. Getzlaff
Chinese government cites environmental concerns; $60,000 award left unrewarded.

Tourist haunted by Scottish "souvenir" By J.A. Getzlaff<
Could an ancient burial site give a modern man bad luck?

Attack of the alien ice balls! By J.A. Getzlaff
The rain in Spain is frozen -- and a pain.

Venice institutes "pee-pee tax" By J.A. Getzlaff
If you want to pee in a public facility, you're going to have to pay.

Drunken airline pilot detained before flying plane By J.A. Getzlaff
Amsterdam authorities find captain's blood-alcohol level four times the legal driving limit.

Holy cow! Virgin of Guadalupe appears in ice cream By J.A. Getzlaff
Sidewalk spill in Houston is drawing legions of believers.

Rio cracks down on nude sunbathers By J.A. Getzlaff
Thong capital says: Floss is fine, but don't cross that line.. (01/24/00)

To hurl or not to hurl? By J.A. Getzlaff
A Spanish village debates its festival tradition of tossing a goat off a tower. (01/21/00)

Singaporeans riot for Hello Kitty By J.A. Getzlaff
McDonald's promotion proves catnip to customers. (01/20/00)

Ripeness is all By J.A. Getzlaff
Every year, Bunol, Spain, finds a whole new use for tomatoes. (01/19/00)

Venomous snakes invade Port Moresby By J.A. Getzlaff
"Watch your step," says local expert. (01/15/00)

Epicurean pilot fired By J.A. Getzlaff
In Vegas, a full plane beats a full stomach any day. (01/14/00)

The post-mile-high club By J.A. Getzlaff
In Holland, a brothel chain proposes an enterprising new use for airport space. (01/13/00)

The Mojave Phone Booth By J.A. Getzlaff
How a windswept, bullet hole-ridden telephone became a legend in its own time. (01/12/00)

Now where did I leave my teeth? By J.A. Getzlaff
People forget the darnedest things in London's hotels. (01/11/00)

The twine that binds By J.A. Getzlaff
A Minnesota town honors the mother of all twine balls. (01/10/00)

Attack of the potted pachyderms By J.A. Getzlaff
Never offer an elephant a cask of fermented rice beer. (01/07/00)

Mike the Headless Chicken Day By J.A. Getzlaff
A Colorado town celebrates one plucky fowl. (01/06/00)

"The Cow is OK" By J. A. Getzlaff
How a bovine shut down a Florida highway. (01/05/00)

- - - - - - - - - - - -